so lost...

I have a lot to say for this post, please get yourself ready, I think you all might just switch while reading half-way. The things I would be saying maybe bullshit or nonsense to you all, but I just feel like saying it out to make myself feel better.

I feel that I am just living for the sake of living, I really don't know what I want, what I like, who am I actually. I am so lost, I feel that I am lost in my own world, I really can't get out. I need help, but who can actually be the one to help me out, help me along the way, guide me when I am lost. Not that I am hinting that I am single now, it is just purely that I am stoning and keeping all the things to myself. I felt that the anti-social-ness is arousing in me, I am being more and more not wanting to communicate to people, for some reasons I felt that I am an introvert, probably I am. WHO KNOWS? I am actually quite an anti-social person, for some who don't know me well. I am just tiring out myself with things to do, people may find me quite a boring person to be with at times. Although, I am drowning myself with things and works, I still think that I am lack of something in me. I often find living tiring for me, lots of things to think about, I just want to sleep and sleep and wake up someday. I am just so unrealistic and stupid to think about these things.

I felt I need understand more about myself, I don't know what kind of person am I? Tell me man, just what am I doing? I am not sure. Being 18 already really doesn't justify with what I am blogging now, am I childish or naive or retarded to think about these things. I think I am just too sensitive to my surroundings and what is happening around me.

The over-protective-ness of my parents are killing me. I am 18 already mum, I know how to take care of myself. I know that being protected is better than not, but sometimes over protective irritates me. I know my mum means no harm to me, she also wants me to be happy and safe, but sometimes I need my own space and breathing area. My mum sure has her own reasons and so do I, maybe she should just let me loose from her arms. Just a bit more will do.

I need to grow up.